Fellowship Wisdom: Daring Greatly

“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

👋 Hello and welcome to the monthly edition of ✨ Fellowship Wisdom ✨ — delivered by a lovely alumni fellow who created the space for us to reflect and integrate new learnings into life. Special thanks to Alice for hosting the upcoming book club. You can sign up here.

This month’s pick is Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly.

Brené Brown has studied shame and vulnerability for decades, and her book is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand their emotions. Check out the overview:

Brené Brown defines shame and vulnerability as

  1. Vulnerability is

    Saying the scary thing that is your truth

    Showing up when you cannot predict the outcome

    To love, to feel, to enjoy, to hang onto something that is worth losing

  2. Shame is

    When you feel that you are bad

    The bad, flawed, not good enough side

    The painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging

If we don’t understand shame, we will avoid difficult conversations. We won’t have the resilience and awareness to be vulnerable. However, to grow up is to accept vulnerability.

To be alive is to be vulnerable.

Can you accept your flaws?

Do you believe that you are worthy of love, that you are good enough?

Growing up, we all have been through a fair share of trauma. Some came from critical parents, self, classmates, media, or all of the above. As a result, we learned to believe that people love us because of our strengths. However, love is unconditional. You like because. You love despite.

Here are two strategies that may light up the darkness:

  1. Explore your darkness with a friend who loves you.

  2. Own the story so that you can create an ending that empowers you.

Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Are you busy enough?

If you’ve ever tried to numb yourself with staying busy, you are just delaying the time when sh*t hits the fan. It doesn’t work. Here are two strategies that may help:

  1. Be conscious of how we use our time.

    Are we taking more work to feel less of the discomfort from our lives?

  2. Set up boundaries so that numbing is no longer necessary. 

    How can we set up boundaries so that life isn’t so demanding that we are exhausted and want to hide away?


If you’d like to have a good conversation with alumni fellows, don’t forget to sign up for the book club discussion here. 💚

Have a great week,

Charlene

PS

Want a more mindful week? Start designing your day in Dream Day!